Penis-flashing and “what’s up nice-ass” – women’s shocking experiences being harassed by delivery men

Translation by Allen Benjámin Zoltán.

(The names of the women were altered at their request)

Ordering food and other products is almost always uneventful. Rarely do customers get harassed, but this fact alone cannot console those women who have been sent sexual innuendos by unknown men who know very private information about them. They could know their name, their phone number, and what is most frightening: their address, too.

In contrast, the scared victims remain in their homes, faced with a person whom they know nothing about, except their job. Contacting the delivery companies however, is almost impossible to do over the phone; reported harassments are sometimes only replied to through messaging apps.

He delivered the package while flashing his penis, then started threatening her

Of the three cases in this article, the most extreme happened last year. Zsófi had ordered food from Netpincér, now called Foodpanda. A man brought the food, who “unusually, held the package very low”. When the young woman received it, she saw the man’s naked penis. Realizing this, the courier quickly re-entered the lift and exited the building.

Zsófi closed the door and told her partner what had happened. They tried to read the courier’s license plate from the window, but it was too dark to make sense of. They did however warn the courier that he would be reported to the company. He replied that he did not know what they were talking about, then sat in his car and drove away.

They found no information about the courier on the paper Netpincér provided, so they called the restaurant. She was told that they cannot help her, since the courier belonged to Netpincér and they had no idea who he was. The woman asked for the company’s number, but the restaurant could only suggest they try and write to Netpincér.

Then somebody called her from a hidden number. It was the courier. He said he was very tense and angry; that they should not even think about suing him. He added that he only now realises what he is being accused of. He threatened them, saying he knows where they live and knows the young woman’s name, and that they should not use him to make a quick buck. (While nothing of the sort was even mentioned.) By the end he was shouting: “Don’t mess with me, it’ll be better not to pick a fight with me! You’ll be sorry, all because you don’t know who I am!”

They offered them three coupons worth 5000 forints each

Seeing as they did not find any available telephone number, they messaged Netpincér, explaining what had happened. All they got was a conventional reply: they had forwarded the complaint towards the colleague, they would investigate the issue, apologies for any inconvenience caused.

Feeling that, given the situation, such a reply was inadequate, they told the company so, and added that they wanted to know who the colleague was, and wanted to be sure that the situation was being handled with due consideration.

Netpincér replied that they informed the courier’s higher-ups, but that they could not divulge any more information than that, since the couriers work as private contractors. They apologized and told them: the customer can always “contact higher authorities”, who can “pursue further action” in the case.

In reply the couple said that they want to call someone who is handling their issue, and that it disturbs them how the company reacts so nonchalantly to a situation in which a courier flashes his penis and then, abusing their private information, threatens them over the phone, saying he knows where they live and what their number is. All the while they have no idea who this man is, who he answers to, or who the customer service representative they are talking to is.

For the next three days, there was no reply; they had no idea if anything progress had been made regarding the case. Then, a representative of the company called Zsófi, apologizing and informing her that Netpincér had terminated his contract. The representative acknowledged that they had made a mistake in not being transparent during the investigation.

They also mentioned considering an update to their application which would mask all customers’ telephone numbers on the platform that the couriers use. (Though based on another case that happened in the past few days and the reply Foodpanda gave Telex, it seems such an update was never implemented, but more on that later.) Other than the apology, they offered them three coupons, worth 5000 forints each, which Zsófi felt was a smack in the face.

“You look good in pyjamas”

In another similar case a larger delivery company’s courier delivered a package to a young woman’s home. Nothing out of the ordinary happened: Luca accepted the package and signed for it.

A little bit later she got a Facebook friend request and a message. Not recognizing the man, she asked him where they knew each other from. The man plainly said that he was the delivery man from earlier that morning. “After I didn’t reply, he started sending me text messages in which he wrote that I looked very good in pyjamas, and asked me to meet him. I was very scared, since he knew my name, my address, my phone number, my ID number, what I look like, and even my signature.” – Luca told Telex.

She notified the company of the case, to which they replied that they would investigate the issue, but then went silent. “And I didn’t push on, because the courier didn’t contact me anymore, and I thought that he might find me if he was fired because of me. Perhaps others aren’t so lucky. Finally, I’m no longer anxious since I moved out.”

“What’s up, nice-ass?”

The third such case started just a few weeks ago, this summer. The courier still harasses the customer to this day. Similarly to the first case, a young woman ordered food through Foodpanda. Nothing unusual happened when accepting the delivery. Then she got a text from an unknown number. It read: “Hey girl. What’s up, nice-ass?”

Hajni’s first impression was that the text was meant for somebody else, so she asked if they knew who they were talking to. The person was fully aware: “A sexy chick. From Bikszádi street.” – came the answer. (This is not her street, but the courier knew it correctly.)

A few days of radio silence was followed by another text: “I really fancy you, my dearest.” Hajni told Telex that she is considering moving out of that flat for a couple months. What is especially scary for her, is that the way he talks as if she was his possession: “My dearest”. Then she received an alarming TikTok video, featuring a quote from the film ‘Until Death’ which goes: “One who loves is capable of killing anyone.” Hajni immediately went to the police to file a complaint.

In the article’s first case regarding a delivery man from Foodpanda, we mentioned that the company was considering making the customer’s phone number inaccessible to couriers. But Hajni’s recent experiences show that such an improvement never came to fruition.

Hajni contacted Foodpanda after the first unwanted messages, to which they replied that they “sanctioned the courier”. Not a terminated contract, only a sanction.

She may not have been his only victim

Júlia Spronz, Patent Association’s legal expert told Telex about how rare it is for a woman to even report such incidents of harassment to these companies. Single women are even less likely to file a complaint, fearing their safety.

Frequently, it is not clear to the victim that there is any point in reporting these cases. Any acquaintances in the police force will tell one not to bother: there is hardly any chance of the culprit being held responsible. Even if such events are reported, it is not rare for these casesto drag on for months, and, if the perpetrator does get caught, the punishment is too lax to scare any away from doing the same. – Spronz said.

“All the while blaming the victim is a common occurrence. A lot of the time, women are blamed for the harassment they have been subject to.” Furthermore, the police often do not manage these situations appropriately. Women have to wait in the same room as their harassers, confrontations are regular, and women are sometimes asked to repeat details of their experiences 3 or 4 times, possibly retraumatizing them.

But as with everything, it is not black-and-white. In fact, in many cases results have been reached. Many women believe that if only they experienced the harassment, it is their word against the perpetrator’s, therefore it will be impossible to decide who is telling the truth. But this is not always the case.

On one hand, these types of people have harassed others as well, so finding other victims is possible. Also, as Júlia Spronz has said, if there is other proof, courts can hear the testimonies of indirect witnesses, which means people close to the victim who did not see the crime can testify about its effect on the victim.

According to Spronz, it is a big problem that many companies simply do not have protocol for such cases. Customer service, HR departments, in fact the whole system is unprepared for these situations, forcing them to try to solve the situations clumsily; something easily avoidable given proper training and infrastructure.

Companies are responsible for their couriers

Obviously, most delivery men do not harass customers. The manner in which deliveries are conducted is usually civilized. The reason for writing about these cases in such detail is to convey how scary it can be for a woman to be harassed and threatened by an unknown man who knows her name, address, and phone number.

Privacy expert, Krisztina Ivanics told Telex that it is legal for the companies we order from to give our information to the delivery company, which then forwards our information to the courier. But legally speaking, the information they possess can only be used for the purposes of completing their job. If someone uses such information for private purposes, they are in breach of their contract.

Couriers are often employed as sub-contractors, but even then the companies hold the responsibility of ensuring that the customer’s information is being handled correctly – the expert told Telex.

The couriers do not have to know names and phone numbers

It often comes up while hearing accounts of harassment, whether couriers really need access to customer’s names and phone numbers. Instead of a name, both parties could be given a code that they could identify each other with. Even if the couriers do see a name on the doorbell, it will most likely be a surname with which they cannot track down the customer on social media.

Though providing a phone number when ordering is needed for smooth communication between the parties, there is no real reason delivery companies cannot hide the number from the couriers while enabling them to call customers through a company device or application.

According to Krisztina Ivanics, technical solutions where information is hidden are possible. However expensive and labor-intensive, these improvements could enable the company to market themselves as the safer option, thus giving them an edge over competitors. Based on the replies given by delivery companies contacted by Telex, there are companies in Hungary where couriers cannot see customers’ telephone numbers, but we will return to that later.

Finally, the profits of delivery companies have skyrocketed in recent times. Under the pandemic many of these companies have multiplied their turnover, reaching the billions, thus making these improvements more feasible.

The address is the most problematic

The question of what to do with the customer’s address is the hardest in trying to lower rates of harassment. Couriers have to know it in order to deliver the package. But there is the option of no-contact delivery, which became quite popular during the pandemic. If selected, the courier places the package in front of the door, buzzes the doorbell, and leaves before the customer collects it.

There are times when contact delivery is needed, for example when larger or more expensive goods were ordered. But usually these are few and far between, so one might want to ask male friends or family members to accompany them in such cases.

There were 18 cases of harassment reported to Foodpanda last year

We turned to the two largest food delivery services, Foodpanda and Wolt, and three companies who have the largest stakes in package delivery: GLS, DPD and the delivery service of the Hungarian Post.

We were interested in how many cases of harassment were reported, how couriers who harass are sanctioned, what information the couriers have access to, how they assist victims of harassment, and whether they conduct any psychological tests on couriers before hiring them.

GLS did not answer most of the questions, all they wrote was: “We will soon begin to investigate all complaints. At the same time, we do not wish to appear as GLS in your article.”

Foodpanda replied in greater detail. In the last year, 18 cases were reported to them in which a customer was harassed by their couriers. “Compared with the tens of thousands of orders we received this year, it is still 18 cases too many.” – they wrote. They have zero tolerance for such cases: “we cannot imagine a less severe sanction than the termination of their contract”.

According to the company, “in the interest of successful delivery and solely for the duration of the delivery, the sharing of contact details is needed” with the couriers, who see the customer’s address, name, and phone number. Regarding the information, the courier “may only use it for completing the delivery and is forbidden from storing it”.

There is a trained team who handles these sensitive cases, and “they get absolute priority, so that we have a quick and proper reaction”. They told us that the investigation of sensitive cases gets special attention: “we react firmly in that instant (=within minutes)”.

They do not conduct psychological evaluation of their couriers, according to Foodpanda, they are not authorized to do so. “Since we are talking about independent private contractors, currently, the law does not allow for the psychological evaluation of our couriers.”

There are companies where the courier cannot see phone numbers

Wolt Hungary told Telex that they know of about 1 case per year when a courier tried to contact a customer after completing a delivery.

They revealed that their couriers do not have access to customers’ phone numbers. “Customers’ phone numbers are hidden from both restaurants and couriers in the Wolt application. Furthermore, the customer does not see the courier’s real phone number. (…) We are able to protect the information of not only our customers, but also our couriers with this high-level call forwarding method.”

They also have zero-tolerance for these cases: “If we become confident that one of our couriers has used a customer’s information for purposes beyond our services, after the investigation we adhere to a zero-tolerance policy and terminate the contract.”

The courier sees the client’s address and name in the application: “There are many reasons names are needed. A lot of the time our couriers identify where they need to deliver based on a name, but it is also needed for billing. It is common for a surname to be on the doorbell, thus in the interest of quick delivery a name is needed.” – they wrote. They do not conduct a psychological evaluation of their couriers.

The Hungarian Post and DPD have not yet replied until the time of publishing.